In my dreams
by koolgirl95
Summary: Edward and Bella meet and are immediately drawn to each other. But circumstances keep them away from each other. Will Edward be able to come to terms with his and Bella's past? Can true love win and carry them unscathed through all the odds that come their way? A story of human Bella and Edward, set in Forks and a few other places.
1. Chapter 1 Her smile

**I don't own Twilight or any of the characters.**

 **Chapter 1**

 **Her smile**

I brushed my hair out of my eyes, fervently hoping that it would stay put. I had tried the hair gel that Tanya had pressed into my hands a week before, muttering instructions under breath about how to use it for best results. After ten minutes of trying to tame my hair with the gel, I looked at the end result in the mirror. I held back a groan of frustration with great difficulty and set about washing my hair again. I could not possibly appear at Tanya's sister's wedding looking like I had stood upside down in a bucket of grease. It would just have to be messy, as always. I smirked slightly imagining Tanya's irritation at my apparent lack of interest in how I present myself. I could almost hear her voice loftily saying, 'If you do not care about how you look, at least try to be properly dressed for me. What will people say?'

'Aren't you ready yet?' my sister's voice asked chirpily from the doorway. I raised an eyebrow at the small pixie who had appeared out of nowhere and she looked like she had just walked off a fashion magazine. She had no doubt spent the best part of the morning, around three to four hours, perfecting her runway model look.

'I see you are.' I said dryly.

She gave me a sickeningly sweet smile and floated out of my room. Alice and I were not related by blood but we had grown up together, at least for a major part of our lives. My father, Carlisle Cullen, had married Alice's mother, now Esme Cullen, in a grand ceremony exactly eleven years ago. Alice and I were roughly the same age and had thus studied in the same year at school. I could still remember the day when Carlisle had introduced her and I had briefly wondered why I was being introduced to a doll. Suppressing the urge to comb my hair again, I picked up my phone and started down the stairs of our home. My parents were waiting in the sitting room. Mom looked wonderful in her beige and gold outfit. She hardly looked a day over twenty-five while she actually was fifty one years old.

'Edward, so handsome...' she said, and hurried over to give me a hug. I patted her on the back and grinned at Alice over her back. Alice usually counted on mom to tell me off for my shabby appearance.

'Shall we leave then?' father asked. I could hear the undertone of impatience in his voice. He rarely got angry but off late, he had been slightly touchy, especially after the incident at work. We never spoke of it. But it hung over our household like a black cloud.

'Yes dad' I said walking over to the windows and checking to see whether Smith had brought our car out front. He was there already, waiting in our Mercedes.

'Mom, Edward needs a stylist. Just look at him. Tanya is going to have a fit.' said Alice, throwing a quick glance my way. I grimaced. I was never much into fashion. I only dressed up so that my girlfriend and my family would get off my back. That day, I had actually been secretly proud of my efforts. To hear them being quashed was quite difficult.

'I think he looks pretty good darling' mom said gently trying to smooth my hair down with her free hand, her other hand clutching an elaborate purse. I could see stones like diamonds on it. I shrugged her hand away.

'It doesn't stay down mom. You know that.' I said quietly and followed my father out of the house.

…

'Edward. You didn't use the gel did you?' Tanya asked me, her voice strangely high pitched. I had just met her and complimented her on how beautiful she looked. She hadn't even acknowledged my words.

'I did. I overdid it and I looked greasy. I had to wash it off and...' I trailed off as her glare became more pronounced. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's alright' she said wearily and took my arm. I made a mental note to watch a video on how to use hair gel, in case I ever needed to use it again. Not that I wanted to.

We walked into the wedding tent, where many guests were already in their seats. Tanya gushed about the arrangements and the flowers while I blocked her out. My eyes roved over the people there searching for anyone I knew. Tanya guided me to my seat and hurried away to help Rosalie, her sister, with her dressing. I watched her glide away, her strawberry blonde hair bouncing with each step she took. Tanya and I had started dating in our final year at school. We had studied in London at Allenburgh's Boarding School. We had known each other before, but we officially started seeing each other only later on. We were family friends. Carlisle had insisted that we must be educated in a reputed boarding school. Thus, Alice and I had done most of our schooling abroad, returning to the US only for holidays. Thinking back, I guessed that was why we did not have much of a bond with our parents but I loved them all the same.

'You must be Edward' a blond man said, taking the seat near me.

'Yes, I am. And you are?' I asked, trying to smile at the stranger.

'Jasper. Alice's boyfriend. We met in Australia. During her internship.' He said this in a very matter-of-fact voice. I remembered him. She had mentioned someone to me when she had returned from her trip. I hadn't taken her seriously. Alice's romantic encounters were very short-lived.

'Oh yes. I remember. She has mentioned you. Pleasure to meet you Jasper' I said, smiling at him. 'Your first time in the US?'

'No. Not really. I've been here loads of times. But first time in Forks. She told me it would be wet and cloudy. I just didn't realize how wet.' He said gesturing to the wet ground outside the tent.

I laughed. Yes. People never really understood how Forks stayed wet throughout the year.

'You get used to it.'

'I doubt I ever will.' he said, rubbing his forehead, as though he had already had enough of it.

I was going answer, when I spotted Emmett walking into the tent, with a huge smile on his face. I waved at him. He smiled back. Emmett was Mr. Perfect. Rosalie, Tanya's sister, had met Emmett at college and sparks had flown instantly, considering both of them were exceptionally good looking. They had dated for 2 years before deciding to tie the knot. Emmett had proposed to her during their skiing trip in France, with a giant diamond ring. Tanya was obviously very happy with her sister's choice but I often felt like she was even slightly jealous of Rosalie's 'good fortune'.

Well, coming back to Emmett. He was a straight A student and straight out of college he got accepted into a reputed bank at a very senior position which meant good money. Tanya's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Denali had wasted no time in conveying this to my parents at our ritual Saturday dinners. My parents had congratulated them and 'ooohed' and 'aahed' appropriately but I could sense their eyes flickering towards me every now and then. As if to tell me that they were expecting me to achieve to Emmett's score.

I had hated Emmett after that, until I met him. We had met at a club in Seattle not long after the forgettable dinner. Emmett, it turned out, was a really cool guy who was very easy to get along with. He was down to earth and friendly. He didn't have any fake airs and graces that I had come to expect from people like him. I really took a liking to him. Soon after that Emmett and I met quite often, sometimes with the girls, sometimes without. I started to wonder how Emmett fell for Rosalie who was haughty and proud. Maybe her beauty clouded his judgement.

I shook aside all the negative thoughts that were threatening to spill into my mind and busied myself in a thorough examination of the wedding decorations. Just as I moved onto the third ice sculpture, I saw _her._ I momentarily forgot how to breathe and gasped for breath. She was standing next to a tall man who had his back to me. She was wearing a striking lilac dress that clung to her figure and accentuated her perfect curves. Her dark brown hair fell in ringlets to her waist. Her skin was a rich and creamy ivory. I couldn't blink. I just stared at her from my seat under the tent. And then she turned my way. Her eyes searching for someone and for a split second, our eyes met. My heart skipped a beat and I was sure I could hear it thumping away in my chest.

I blinked and she turned away. It was as if our eyes had never met. But her eyes were stuck in my head, beautiful orbs that looked like someone had squeezed two dollops of rich dark chocolate onto two pools of milk. In that instant that our eyes had met, I felt like she could see into my soul.

'Edward? Are you okay?' Tanya's voice came behind me.

'Huh? Me? Yeah. Totally fine.' I said trying to sound nonchalant. Tanya looked at me searchingly and finally satisfied with whatever she saw, hooked her arm through mine and we proceeded to the entrance from where we would have to walk down the aisle. Tanya was the maid of honour and I was one of the groomsmen.

Even though Tanya was holding my arm, I had become numb to her touch. My eyes searched the gathering for the only person they had eyes for at that moment., the girl with the beautiful chocolate brown eyes. We walked slowly and steadily, but I was oblivious to what was happening around me. I hardly noticed when we reached our positions near the altar. However, once we stopped, I glanced at Emmett who was smiling at me. I smiled back and mouthed an 'all the best' to him. He nodded once and his eyes widened. I turned my head slightly and saw Rosalie walking down the aisle, a true vision in white. But right there, I saw _her._ She was in a seat two rows from the front, near a tall dark boy.

And right then, as though she could hear my unspoken plea to look at me, she lifted her gaze, looked straight at me and she smiled.

Her smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever beheld.


	2. Chapter 2 Breathless

**Chapter 2**

 **Breathless**

I sat at a table, right at the very end of the tent which had been transformed for the reception. The flowers from the morning were replaced by sparkly lights of different colours. The chairs had moved to make space for a wide area in the centre, where several couples were dancing. Round tables covered with shiny white satin tablecloths and adorned with fragrant flowers had been arranged neatly around the dance floor. I absentmindedly traced my finger over the satin and marvelled at its smoothness. It was becoming quite chilly, I noted. I had already danced three times with Tanya and I could have continued without much difficulty, but she kept complaining about how I simply could never understand her feelings. It became too much to handle after the third dance and I had made some excuse about my ankle hurting and had found my current seat.

'Bella. After such a long time. How are you my dear?' I heard a familiar voice ask from somewhere behind me.

'I am very well thank you. And you Mrs. Denali?' a musical voice responded. My curiosity sufficiently aroused, I slowly turned around to sneak a peek at the owner of the musical voice. I needn't have thought much. It was _her._ The girl with the most beautiful smile. Her name was Bella. _Bella._ Beautiful. She was incredibly beautiful I thought, momentarily wondering how her parents had thought of such an apt name.

I kept stealing furtive glances at her for the next few minutes while she conversed with Mrs. Denali. Her voice was rich, deep and musical. I did not listen to what was being spoken. I couldn't concentrate.

'See something you like?' a deep male voice asked and I supposed it was addressed to me.

I turned around to see the tall dark male I had seen sitting next to Bella during the ceremony. He had slid into the seat facing me. I grudgingly noted that he looked very good. He could even be described as what my sister and her friends called _exotic._

'And you are?' I asked, pointedly ignoring his question.

'Jacob. Jacob Black. I saw you looking at her.' he said gesturing towards Bella with his hand. His expression was determined. He was not going to let it go.

'I don't see how that concerns you. Looking or not looking is not a crime.' I said as shortly as I could. He raised his eyebrows slightly. I wondered whether I had overreacted.

'I never said it was a crime. I was just making an observation' he said shrugging. I had overreacted.

'Alright.' I said feeling myself redden. We did not look at each other for the rest of the evening.

…

'Jake? Can we leave?' she asked hurrying up to the table that I was sitting at, addressing Jacob. Envy flooded my blood and I could feel every cell in my body scream in indignation. _She_ spoke to him but not to me. I gripped the edges of the table tightly.

'Bells. I am waiting for that blonde to finish her dance so that I can ask her to dance.' he said, his eyes flickering over to the place where a girl with long blonde tresses was dancing quite erotically. Tanya, I observed, was nowhere in sight. Somehow that didn't bother me. On another night, I would have gone looking for her. Coming to think of it, on another night, I would have been by her side.

She made a sound that sounded like half a laugh and half a squeal of disgust.

'Sure you do. I'll wait here then, while you go do your thing.' she said, sounding quite irritated and plopped down into the chair next to me, crossing her legs, her expression unreadable.

My stomach dropped and flipped. I struggled to contain my joy. It would simply not suit my purposes if I burst out laughing at that point. She was sitting next to me.

As I watched her, I realized that I was aching to talk to her, to listen to more of her rich voice. I wanted to know what she liked and what she enjoyed. I wanted to _know_ her. This realization hit me quite hard. I was not the type of guy who cheated. I loved Tanya, a lot. I had not made any concrete plans with Tanya but we had always had an unspoken understanding that marriage was in our future together. I shook these thoughts aside and told myself that this was just a momentary attraction, infatuation, something that meant nothing. Once I was done reinforcing these thoughts in my head, I thought about what to say to Bella.

'Excuse me?'

I stared at Bella. She looked at me quizzically. I pulled myself together and answered as politely as I could. 'Yes?'

'You are Tanya's boyfriend aren't you?' she asked, a hint of smile appearing on her face.

My heart sank. She knew. Of course she _knew._ She knew Mrs. Denali, how would she not know this detail? But of course, she should know. There was no reason to hide anything.

'Yeah. I'm Edward.' I said extending a hand and trying to smile as politely as I could.

'Bella, short for Isabella.' she said taking my hand and for a moment I could have sworn I lifted a few inches off my chair. Her hand was cold but soft. I gripped it for a few seconds and let go. I had to do something about the way I was behaving. She was driving me crazy. Girls had never affected me this way. Even with Tanya, it had been a gradual attraction. We had gotten together more out of familiarity than attraction. I had been perfectly content with that. I had never been a romantic. A fact that my dear girlfriend pointed out to me regularly.

I took a deep breath to steady myself. 'So how do you know the Denalis?' I asked conversationally.

'Well, I am Rosalie's friend from summer camp.' she said as though that was the most obvious thing in the world.

'Uh huh' I said, not quite understanding.

'Rosalie and I met at summer camp when I was thirteen. Eight years ago to be precise. We shared a tent, spent a lot of time together and grew quite close. We kept in touch over the years. I've even come down to stay at her place here. That's how I know Tanya. She told me a lot about you.' she said with a small smile.

'Oh. Right.'

'And a month ago, she called me and told me she was getting married. I wouldn't have dreamed of missing it for the world.'

'Hmmm. That's nice.' I said lightly or atleast in what I thought was a light voice. I thought it came out more strangled than light.

She was twenty-one years old. That was exactly 3 years younger than I was, not that it mattered.

'So what do you do Edward?' she asked me. I could see that she was trying to make conversation. I felt encouraged. The disappointment from a few minutes ago melted away and I eagerly answered her.

'I am working Altmann's' I said quietly.

'Wow. That's cool. You're a banker.' she said, looking surprised. 'I would never have pegged you for banking. You look…um…well…you don't look like a banker.' she finished abruptly. Her eyes dropped to her hands.

I took a moment to consider what she said. I didn't look like a banker? Was that a good thing? Or was that a bad thing? Emmett was a banker. He was generally considered very good looking.

'Right. What about you?' I asked steering the conversation away from myself.

'I am a stylist. Freelance. I style outfits for people. Occasionally I join modelling photo-shoot teams to help with the dressing and makeup. But that's about it. And that is mainly when I don't get any private work my way. I studied fashion designing in college.' she said and I could see a flash of something in her eyes that I couldn't place.

'That sounds great. You must get to travel a lot.' I said grinning.

'That is one of the perks. Paid travel.' She laughed. And I joined in. It felt natural. Like we had been laughing together for years even decades before then.

'On a more serious note, you can help me with my dressing.' I said gesturing to myself.

'I think you dress well.' she said, and my heart swelled with pride. I didn't let it show though.

'You'd better tell Alice that. She'd laugh herself hoarse.' I grimaced.

'Alice?' she asked, 'and that would be?'

'My sister. Well…step-sister actually. My dad married her mom.' I explained. 'You'd have seen her. Short black hair, tiny..'

'Uh..yeah..I think I saw her.' she seemed to be trying to recall seeing Alice.

'Bells!'

'Jake. You're done?' she asked exasperatedly. Jacob had sauntered up to our table. He picked up a rose from the flower arrangement.

'Nearly. I am just trying my luck with Kate's phone number' he winked. 'You seem to be having a good time chatting with Mr Looking-isn't-a-crime.'

She looked startled. 'Excuse me? What?' But he had already started loping back towards the blonde girl. 'Do you know what he was talking about?'

I shrugged. I briefly wondered what she'd do if I told her exactly what she meant. But I had a few questions to ask her. 'How do you know Jacob?' I tried not to let the intensity of my curiosity show but I guessed I didn't do a good job of it. She looked at me with a queer expression on her face.

'Jake? We're childhood friends. I guess you wouldn't know. He lives here. Near here anyway. My dad, Charlie Swan? I suppose you'd have heard of him? He works in the department of police here. He's the sheriff. I was actually born here. But my parents divorced shortly after and my mom moved to Phoenix with me. I tried not to come here much. But I had to come for a month every summer to visit him. That's how Jake and I became friends. I stopped visiting after I was eleven. But Jake and I met up a few times what with all my travelling.' she stopped rather abruptly and caught my eye, 'I'm boring you with silly childhood stories.'

Even with all the artificial lighting I could tell that she was blushing. The colour looked beautiful. The rosy tinge that her skin acquired was unbelievably attractive to me.

'No, you aren't.' I said, wiping my mouth surreptitiously, checking for any drool.

She relaxed visibly. 'You're not dancing?' she asked me, her eyes sweeping over the couples on the dance floor.

I shook my head, saying, 'I'm not much of a dancer.' I could have told her how much I wanted to dance with her. But that would probably not be well received. And I couldn't possibly be dancing with her, especially after telling Tanya that I couldn't. I felt miserable.

'I am terrible at anything that requires grace. Dancing being one of them.' she said sheepishly.

My heart soared. She didn't dance. Maybe I could convince her to dance. Someday. I knew I was a decent dancer. And I was momentarily distracted by the mental image of Bella and I, dancing on an empty dance floor. My arms were around her…Her head was on my chest...

'-can't believe he would do that.' Her voice snapped me out of my reverie.

'I'm sorry what?' I asked, feeling slightly embarrassed. She had been saying something that I hadn't listened to.

'Jake. He just waved a goodbye and walked off with that girl. I can't believe he would abandon me like that.' she looked angry. 'I guess I'll just walk.'

'Where are you staying?' I asked.

'At Charlie's. His place is a few miles from the mega-mart. I can walk. That shouldn't be much of a problem.' she said getting up quickly.

'No. I'll drop you.' I said, without thinking. I couldn't let her go home alone. It was a little past eleven. She wouldn't be safe walking by herself.

'No Edward. I couldn't make you do that. I am just really tired. I've been travelling a lot since last week. I haven't really slept much. All I want is to go to bed.' She really did look tired. I looked at her and then searched the crowd for Tanya once more.

'I'll drop you Bella. It's not a problem at all. It's my pleasure.' I said, once I saw that Tanya wasn't there. I could have imagined it but I thought I saw a flash of relief on her face. She smiled at me and said, 'Okay. If you say so.'

We weaved through the tables. I stopped once to tell Mrs Denali where I was going. She looked appalled when I told her Bella's original plan.

'No my dear. You mustn't venture anywhere by yourself. That too, at this hour. Certainly not. Thank goodness Edward caught you before you went off doing such foolish things.' Mrs Denali shook her head violently while Bella blushed beautifully. I refused to acknowledge the warm gooey feeling I could feel in the pit of my stomach.

'Well, we'll be off then Mrs Denali. I'll be back soon.' I said politely and I turned towards the entrance of the tent and Bella followed me soundlessly.

…

The valet returned with the car. Smith had been relieved. Smith had been our driver for the longest time and he was almost family. So when events ran really late, dad made sure Smith was relieved of duty.

I opened the door for Bella who slid in gracefully. I strode over to the driver's side, my heart beating like I'd just sprinted a mile. I got in and shut the door. It was just us, in the car. I felt a strange wild happiness. Bella trusted me enough to let me drop her home.

I turned onto the main road and started towards the mega-mart. It was very dark outside. There were very few lights en route. It wasn't raining but the air was heavy. I switched on the air-conditioning.

'I hadn't really thought my plan through when I said I'd walk.' she said, her eyes peering into the darkness outside the car. 'Nice car, by the way.'

'It's dad's.' I muttered. I didn't own a car. Yet. I wanted to say something intelligent or cool. But I could come up with nothing. I just drove with my mouth half opened.

'I lack the coordination required for driving. At least that's what my tutor told me. I think he had a heart attack when he heard I passed my test.' she said, chuckling.

I laughed and felt myself relax. She had a good sense of humour. I admired women with a good sense of humour.

'Well…did he?' I asked winking. I had suddenly developed a newfound confidence.

'Well. No. He killed himself.' she stage whispered and we both laughed. It was so easy to laugh with her. I didn't have to worry about whether my laugh was offensive to the people around me or whether I was being too loud. It was natural and easy. I had forgotten how it was to laugh like a normal human being.

We passed the mega-mart and I felt a twinge of sadness. In a few minutes, she would leave and I'd be all alone. I tried to drive a little slower to spend a little bit more time with her.

'How long are you here for?' I asked her, praying that I would be able to meet her again.

'A month, I think. Charlie, Dad, isn't keeping well. Mom talked me into staying with him for a bit.' she said, with surprising bitterness. I wondered why but I felt it would be rude to ask. I wanted to know her story. But I knew we hadn't reached that point yet and it would just ruin things if I asked too much.

'What about work?' I asked, not taking my eyes off the road. I couldn't believe my ears. She was going to be here for a month.

'I was planning to take a break anyway. I'm going to France in August, assistant stylist at a fashion show there. Fashion shows actually. I won't be the one doing the actual styling. I'm assisting the senior stylist. It'll be a great learning experience.' she said longingly. I could tell by her tone that she hated being here more than she was letting on. I felt slightly hurt. I knew I was being stupid. It wasn't like she hated me personally. She just didn't want to be in my city and that somehow bothered me. I wanted her to love being here.

'Right there.' she said and we stopped in front of a sweet looking house. It was too dark to tell how it looked but from what I could see, it looked nice. There were many trees around the house and I noticed that the light was switched on on the top floor.

I turned the engine off and we sat in complete silence. I didn't want her to leave just yet but out of the corner of my eye, I saw her adjusting her dress and preparing to open the door.

I opened my door, jogged over to her side and held her door open to her. She looked surprised but pleased. It had started to drizzle. I shut the door and saw that she was standing near me.

'Thank you.' she said, with a sweet smile. I smiled back. And suddenly, out of nowhere, she stepped forward, stood on her toes and gave me a warm hug. I was rendered immobile. My nostrils were filled with a delicious scent of vanilla, strawberries and a luxurious smell that I associated with the moon. I breathed deeply and allowed her scent to wash over me. It was a perfume like no other. I knew my arms were supposed to be doing something but I couldn't quite remember what. I just stood rooted to the spot for what seemed like hours and just as quickly as it had happened, it was over.

She released me and stepped back. 'Thank you, Edward.' She said again, and slowly turned towards the gate and walked away from me.

'Good night, Bella.' I said more loudly than I expected, her name flowing smoothly through my lips. She turned and smiled at me one last time, 'Good night, Edward. See you soon.' She wanted to see me soon. I wanted to see her again, sooner than ever.

The cold night air washed over me for the first time. My chest constricted, and I found it difficult to breathe, the kind of feeling you get just before your exam and you haven't prepared at all.

Only this time, I was breathless because her scent had left with her, leaving only a few notes here and there. I longed to breathe fully again.


	3. Chapter 3 Luck

**Chapter 3 Luck**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Luck**

'Mom?' I said, leaning against the granite kitchen counter, to my mother who was busy blending a smoothie.

'Yes darling?' she asked not looking up.

'Nothing.' I said and quickly left the kitchen and climbed upstairs. It was a Saturday. A week had passed since the wedding and I had returned to work as usual. Work didn't hold any surprises for me anymore. I just went through the motions because I had to. I glanced out the window, the evening sky was turning a dark grey, heavy rains coming up, no doubt. I settled into the armchair near the window and gazed out of it. My mind wandering to the beautiful girl I had had the fortune of meeting a week ago. I had taken to asking myself whether she was really as beautiful as I remembered or whether I had over-exaggerated her beauty in my mind's eye. I thought about her very frequently. I could say that Bella was the most featured thought in my brain. I was desperate to see her again, to make sure that she had been real. I gritted my teeth as that thought passed. I was becoming weak. The feeling that a girl who I barely knew was controlling my feelings angered me.

The day after the wedding, I had woken up feeling warm and fuzzy. Bella wove in and out of my thoughts and dreams. I had grinned like a madman all day long. My family had noticed my changed behaviour but had made no comment. But as the week wore on, the warm feeling made way for a sense of despair. I longed to see her but somehow I hadn't managed it. I knew I could have just driven down to her house and met her, but the thought of it made me feel queasy. Instead, I had visited the mega-mart near her house on three days, hoping that she would come along. She didn't. I had just spent close to an hour or more skulking between the different sections of the mart. I went to the jogger's park on almost every day despite the torrential rains, returning home drenched to the bone and inviting worried looks from my mother and sister, but nowhere closer to seeing _her._ They were convinced that I was suffering because of high stress and Alice even set about giving me a head massage. It was like I was not meant to see her and this thought bothered me a lot. I was not superstitious but I had started looking for signs that would tell me she was around.

I rubbed my forehead, attempting to erase her from my mind, temporarily. It didn't seem to work. Mom had called me at work, asking me to come home early. We were to have dinner with the Denalis that evening. I had tried refusing but Mom managed to get me home. I didn't have anything against dinner, but I wasn't looking forward to seeing Tanya. I had been evading her all week. She had invited me out two times, and had even bombarded me with texts on Whatsapp. I had guiltily made several excuses for my behaviour and buried myself in shame.

At the thought of Tanya, I whipped out my phone and looked at the wallpaper. Tanya, laughing into the camera, her cheek pressed warmly against mine. I was smiling too. We had taken this picture on one of our camping trips a few months back. I tried to immerse myself in Tanya and did a quick recall of all our dates, our fights, our adventures…That should do it. I got on my feet and pulled on a new pair of blue jeans and a crisp white button-up. The copper tinge in my hair looked even more pronounced. I sighed and decided to gel my hair down. It would make Tanya happy. The strong deodorant scent filled the room as I endeavoured to make my hair lay flat. I started out with a little and soon, my hair stopped sticking up. I combed it back as neatly as I could.

I heard a shocked gasp. Alice had clapped her hands over her mouth.

'When did you get here?' I asked.

'I was just passing through when I saw…' she said as though she had witness someone getting murdered. 'Did you fight?'

'Huh? What? No. We didn't. I just thought I'd try it out.' I said, holding up the tiny jar of hair gel.

'Ed…listen…you haven't been normal since the wedding. Mom is worried. I'm worried.' She said, her expression concerned.

'Really? I don't know. I've been normal.' I said turning away and stuffing the jar into one of the drawers. I couldn't bring myself to tell Alice the truth. She was open-minded but she really liked Tanya and I didn't want to freak her out.

'You went _jogging._ ' she said sceptically.

'I wanted to.'

'Okay.'

And she vanished from my room. I debated whether not telling her had been a good choice. Alice was usually excellent when it came to giving relationship advice as opposed to following it. It was too late to change my mind now. I took one last look at myself and followed her down the stairs.

…

Our journey to the Denalis' place was uneventful. Dad narrated his day's experiences, how well his coronary bypass surgery had gone and how all he had eaten for lunch was a soggy sandwich. I listened attentively, grateful for the distraction. We reached the Denalis' place in less than half an hour. The moment I caught sight of the big villa, my heart sank. I could not explain the feeling.

Why would the prospect of seeing Tanya, my girlfriend, fill me with dread? The feeling became more pronounced as I walked towards their front door. This was certainly unacceptable behaviour. I paused momentarily and took a deep breath, to steady my raging emotions.

'What's wrong with you?' muttered Alice as she passed by me. 'Get it together. You're being weird.'

I ignored her, but followed her robotically into the Denalis' stylish living room. And there, I saw Tanya. She looked beautiful, as always. And my heart filled with a deep sense of remorse. I had not done anything shameful. But in my mind, I knew that my obsessive thoughts about Bella were no less than an affair.

'Hey you…' she said, walking over to me and gently pulling me into a hug. My body tensed up and I forced myself to relax. I wrapped my arms around her, and then, we separated. My mind unconsciously compared this hug to the one I had experienced a week ago. I forcibly pushed the thought out of my head and tried to be normal. I smiled at her and asked her about her week. I apologized meaningfully for not having taken the effort to meet her the entire week. After a few icy looks from her and a few remorseful looks from me, Tanya finally gave in.

'It's alright. Just don't do this to me again. I was so worried.' She said taking my hand in hers, squeezing it, her blue eyes looking straight into mine.

'I won't.' I said breaking away from her gaze. I hoped the doubt I felt in my heart was not apparent to her.

By this time, everybody else had settled into deep conversation. Rosalie and Emmett were not back from their honeymoon. I scanned the walls, the furniture, the fireplace, and racked my brains for something to say. But I was simply at a loss for a good subject to talk about.

'-Tanya. Congratulations! I am so proud!' my mother's voice broke through my thoughts.

'Thank you, Mrs. Cullen. I am not sure of the job yet. But I am confident.' Tanya responded naturally, and gave my mother a warm smile.

'What was that about?' I asked Tanya not having understood what she had been congratulated for. Her eyes narrowed a bit and then she sighed.

'I attended an interview at Oracle Media, for the Public Relations Officer's post. I told you about it. I guess you forgot. So anyway, there's a very big possibility that I get it.' She said her voice less warm than usual.

'Tan, I'm sorry. I'm so happy for you. I had so much on my mind the past week that I couldn't focus on anything else.' I said, kissing her on the cheek. I felt so guilty for making excuses. My head started hurting with the weight of the guilt I was feeling. Tanya remained stiff and distant. I had obviously hurt her deeply by my lack of concern. Thankfully, my sister came in to save the day.

'Yeah Tan. He's been so stressed out lately. He even went jogging…in the rain' said Alice, shaking her head as if she were worried about my sanity. But her words had the desired effect. Tanya's demeanour warmed up considerably. She looked at me with a tinge of concern. I glanced at Alice, who raised an eyebrow at me from behind Tanya's back. In other words, she was asking me what had gotten into me. I shrugged imperceptibly and then looked out the big French windows. The greenery that was usually soothing to my eyes suddenly felt nauseating. I clenched my hands into fists and tore my eyes away from the outdoors. I had to pretend to be normal, at least for the sake of my mental health. And with this thought in mind, I engaged myself in the adults' conversation. Tanya leaned slightly into me, and I knew, all was forgiven.

…

An hour passed uneventfully, I had resigned myself to my predicament. On the outside I seemed bored, but on the inside I was filled with despair. Never in my life had I felt this way. Tanya and Alice were animatedly discussing something, while occasionally throwing a glance my way. And suddenly, I had enough. I pulled my phone out and started scrolling through the photos in the gallery absentmindedly. I was not on any social media platforms, so my photo gallery was the only thing that was even remotely interesting. While I was doing this, I found pictures of Rosalie's wedding. Tanya must have sent them to me. And just like that, my heart started beating faster. I did not want to admit it to myself, but I wanted to find a picture of _her._ I scrolled through them, one after another, fervently wishing that there were some pictures of _her._ But another part of my mind awoke me to the dangers of her picture being there. I did not know how I would handle it. But I continued anyway. There were over 200 pictures.

My heart skipped a beat. There _she_ was. Her smile, her eyes, her brown hair, her creamy skin, and her lilac dress. She stood smiling softly at the camera, with Tanya on her side. Her smile did not reach her eyes though. I stared at her for a long time. In my mind, there was a strong sense of relief. I had not made her up in my head. She _was_ exquisitely beautiful. I could not tear my eyes away from her. At least, I could look at her.

'Look at that drool…' Alice's voice broke through my reverie. She was laughing. 'Tan, Edward is drooling looking at your picture'

Tanya blushed but she looked pleased. Thankfully, they had misunderstood my actions. I breathed a sigh of relief.

'You know looking into people's phones is bad manners' I told Alice, glaring. She shrugged and replied matter-of-factly, 'You're not people, you're my brother.' I rolled my eyes at her. Tanya, meanwhile, came and sat next to me. Her pleasure was evident in the way she smiled at me. At that moment, I could not tell whether Alice had done me a favour or not. I swallowed my feelings and awkwardly scratched the back of my head. Tanya and I spoke for a bit. I tried to sound as normal as possible and I listened to her talk about a lot of different things. 'You hair looks nice.' she said gesturing at my gel set hair. And I smiled at her as warmly as I could.

'Tanya, darling, can you call Bella up and ask when she will arrive? I would like to know whether we should start without her' Mrs. Denali said.

Tanya nodded and did as she was told. I stared at Tanya's phone. My heart leapt. Bella as planning to come _here._ I tried to suppress the excitement that building up inside me.

'Hey…Bella, it's me Tanya. –No, are you done now? – Mom wanted to know. – Okay then, see you soon.' She said and hung up. 'Mom, Bella is on her way back from Seattle. She said she'll be here in a quarter of an hour. She also asked us to go ahead with dinner.'

'In that case, we'll wait. Fifteen minutes is manageable.' said Mrs. Denali after checking her decision with my parents.

'Bella? You mean Chief Swan's daughter?' asked my father in a tone of surprise.

'Yes, you met her at the wedding, didn't you Carlisle?' reminded my mother gently. And they started talking about something else.

…

After waiting for a bit, everyone decided that it would be best to start dinner, since it was getting late. I was not hungry at all. But I proceeded to the dining area with everyone else. And dinner was served. There was quite a spread and everyone appreciated every single dish served. But I could not bring myself to eat more than two bites of anything. We ate through all the courses and finally arrived at dessert.

The bell rang.

I was closest to the door. But I sat quietly lest I showed everyone that I was going crazy.

'Edward, would you mind getting the door?' asked Mr Denali.

'No, not at all.' I said, getting up and walking towards the door. On the outside, I hoped I looked better than I felt on the inside.

I unlatched the door and opened it. And there she was. I wanted to be charming and polite and invite her in. But I just stood there, staring at her, like an absolute idiot. She was so beautiful. She was wearing a shirt black dress and a stylish coat over it. Her hair was shiny and framing her beautiful face in the most perfect manner possible. If she noticed anything odd in my behaviour, she did not show it.

'Hello…' she said, and her musical voice tugged at my heart. I tried to catch my breath and finally after what seemed like many hours, I smiled at her, and said, 'Hello. Please come in.'

She smiled and entered. And her scent, the beautiful fragrance of vanilla, and somehow, of the moon, hit me as she passed. I felt complete.

It was indeed a great decision that my parents had made, about joining the Denalis for dinner. I couldn't believe my luck.


	4. Chapter 4 I hate rain

**Chapter 4**

 **Chapter 4 I hate rain**

Everyone finished dinner and excused themselves. I tried to eat my chocolate cake exceptionally slowly since Bella had only just started eating. She was seated facing me. She had taken off her coat, to reveal a black dress which slightly off-shoulder. I was mesmerised by her collar bones. Mrs Adams, the housekeeper, occasionally came around to the table to check on us. But otherwise, we were alone. Alice and Tanya were up in Tanya's room. Tanya had apparently gone shopping and she wanted to show Alice her haul. Tanya had told Bella that she would be back soon and she had disappeared upstairs. And everyone else had taken their positions in the living room. I was almost done with my dessert and I racked my brains for any other reason to continue sitting at the table.

'You don't have to sit here to keep me company.' she said, suddenly, her face unreadable. That was it. I was being polite and keeping her _company_.

'It's not a problem.' I said and smiled slightly. She had given me a reason to continue staying with her. After she spoke, I was overtaken by a sense of confidence and energy, which I attributed to the excess sugar that had entered my blood. But either way, I felt like I had to say something to her.

'So, you'd gone to Seattle today?' I asked her, trying not to sound too curious. She nodded.

'Yeah. Jake, I mean Jacob, who was with me at the wedding? He had a photoshoot for a magazine over there and he insisted that I come. He introduced me to the stylists there. It was pretty interesting.' She said smiling as she recollected the day's events. I felt a twinge of jealousy, for Jacob. He was so lucky. He could take her out.

'That's great.' I said, though I felt it was not great at all. 'So, what did you do this week?' I asked, just so that we could keep talking.

'Well, this is Forks, so there wasn't really much to do. I just stayed home. Charlie, my dad, isn't great at housekeeping. So I had plenty to do.' Her voice again was cold. She really was not happy about something. But I knew it was not my place to ask. 'But I did go to the beach with Jake once.' She said as though that was the only thing saving her from being stuck at home.

'The beach? La Push?' I asked, observing her reaction.

'Yeah. Except, it wasn't really how I expect a beach to be. I love the heat, the sun, baking hot sand and blue waters. This beach was nothing like that.'

'This is Forks, what did you expect?' I asked, teasing her. She shook her head and feigned a shiver. She was so adorable.

'I am never going there again.' The beach had really made an impression on her. She was so interesting. Most girls I knew were all for toughing it out and putting on the pretense of enjoying something they didn't. She was so straightforward with her preferences. Mrs Adams, served her a plate of chocolate cake. And her eyes lit up like a little girl's. She apparently really liked chocolate cake.

'You like chocolate cake?' I asked her.

'Not particularly, but the ones Mrs Adams makes are phenomenal.' She said as she popped a spoonful in her mouth. She closed her eyes and smiled slightly. She was enjoying the cake. I remained quiet. I did not feel like saying something and breaking her moment. I just observed her.

I wanted to desperately tell her how much I liked her, and how much I wanted to get to know her. I felt frustrated with my emotions. I was never like this. Good looks and a great body had never driven me nuts before. The fact that the girl in front of me had the power to make me question myself, was in itself a miracle. I had always been so sure of life. So sure of how things would go. But now, I was losing my sense of certainty.

…

When I had asked Tanya out in high school, it had not been because I was smitten by her. But because my friend had suggested it. Tanya and I had never been very close. But in school, we would always look out for each other since we knew each other. This fact had made everyone wonder whether we were secretly dating. But the truth was, we weren't. Tanya had always been beautiful. She was tall, had a toned figure. She was also on the school's dance troupe and she worked very hard to keep her body in perfect condition. There were many guys in my class who had wanted to date her. But she had rejected them all. And in our final year, she had gone to Paris over the summer, for a special training programme, and when she returned. She had changed. She had definitely become more beautiful. He strawberry blonde hair was now up to her waist. She wore fashionable clothes. Even her school uniform looked better than the others'. She had become curvier and hence more desirable. We still talked, once in a while. And to me, she seemed like her usual self. That was when my classmate, had told me that Tanya liked me. And that was why she had rejected everyone else. I was shocked at first. But after I got over the shock, I was flattered. After all, Tanya was a very beautiful girl. But in my heart, I had no affection as such for her. I did not know what to do about this new information. In the end, after consulting my friends for advice, (they said, I had nothing to lose and may end up really liking her. but if not I could always end it) I ended up asking her out.

The entire school was in a mad frenzy when they found out. Edward and Tanya were going out. Our first date, a movie and then an Italian restaurant, was pretty enjoyable. We knew each other since childhood, so there was no shyness. But the new romantic vibe that we were giving off was quite awkward. But I thought it was anxiety and let it go. A few dates in, we had gotten to know each other better. And we had shared our first kiss. It was not magical or out of the world, like I had read it would be. It was normal. I wasn't bad either. But since I was never a believer of fairy tale romances, this fact didn't bother me much. In the meantime, Tanya had updated her status to 'in a relationship with Edward Cullen' and that's where I realized that there was no going back without breaking her heart.

Tanya was a nice girl. The only problem I personally had with her, was her interference with my dressing. But I had heard that women were generally like this. So that too was not a considerable issue. It seemed like we had only just started dating and before we knew it, it was our first anniversary. Up until then, I had had no qualms about our relationship and no expectations. So our anniversary passed smoothly and I surprised her with a beautiful jewellery set that Alice helped me pick out. She gave me a professional camera. I had always been very passionate about photography and she had thoughtfully gifted me with a professional camera of a very expensive brand. I was stunned. I was so happy that, that day that after having dinner, I lead her out to the lake on the school campus. It was surrounded by trees and nearly a quarter of a mile away from our dorms. I had quickly grabbed a blanket and a thin mattress and any other things we would be needing for the night. I held Tanya's hand as we walked. She was wearing a tiny pair of shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops. But she looked radiant. We took a dip in the lake. And then we kissed. Our kiss was so passionate and things started escalating very quickly. And the next morning, I woke up to find her sleeping next to me, our clothes scattered around us. For a moment I was filled with regret. I could not believe I had rested a major decision on a camera. But as I watched Tanya sleep, I felt a tad better. She was after all, my girlfriend. And we were going to get married someday.

In our entire relationship, I had felt the urge to break up twice. One was when we were at University. When I was visiting her, I had to use her phone to make a call since mine was out of charge, and I accidentally saw a conversation between her and some guy. I felt uneasy and so I opened the chat and read the messages. I never had trust issues. But once I saw her chat I felt slightly sick. She had not told this guy that we were in a relationship nor had she stopped him from making any romantic advances. Their conversation was sickening. I read it over and over to try to make sense of what she was doing. And when Tanya came out after her shower, she saw her phone in my hand and the look on my face. Her expression immediately changed from warm to fearful. I still remembered our conversation that day. I asked her outright what she was doing. She tried to pass it off as regular and normal. I lost my temper and told her exactly what I thought. She curled up and cried. It was not a great time for us. In the end, the guy came, and clarified that he had indeed been pursuing her and that she had denied his advances. But that she had been merely putting up with him for a project they had together. Despite not being convinced, I let it go. A few messages did not mean anything.

After that, for my part I always stayed clear of other women. I knew how I had felt when I found out about Tanya's casual flirting. So through University, when all my friends went out with a dozen different girls, I stayed loyal to Tanya. I didn't want to hurt her the way she had hurt me. I didn't want a small thing to tear a hole in our relationship. I loved stability and Tanya came with stability. I knew I could marry her and settle down in future. So in our third year at college, we broke the news to our parents and they were of course delighted. It was 'a match made in heaven' according to them. I felt more certain after this that nothing could happen to our relationship. But I couldn't have been more wrong.

This was the second time I had wanted to end our relationship. Just a few months after we had told our parents, I was sitting all alone in my apartment. I rented an apartment now, because I was working part-time and staying in the dorms was unbearable. It was 4am in the morning. I had just finished a project and I was planning to turn in, when there was a knock on the door. I was surprised but then I assumed it was one of the guys. And I opened the door, only to find Tanya in a short skimpy dress, crying. I asked her to come in and made her a cup of tea. She sat on the couch and cried.

…

 _That day_

'Here, I made you tea' I said sitting down next to her.

'Thanks.' She said accepting the cup from me. And fresh tears followed.

'Do you want to talk about it?' I asked, not wanting to force an answer out of her.

She looked at me, bit her lip and then she sobbed. I was aghast. I didn't know what was wrong with her. I scanned her body for any injuries. But she seemed fine. I didn't know what was wrong.

She finally took a deep breath, to steady herself, and then told me what had happened.

'I got drunk with my friends. Roger brought me home and he was there with me for a bit…' and she turned her eyes down and away from mine. I gritted my teeth. Roger was the guy who almost cost us our relationship. I waited for her to continue.

'He spent the night' she said finally and cried again. My heart turned cold. She was telling me that she had gotten drunk and slept with the guy. One more glance at her dress made me feel like she had dressed for the event. I felt my heart break. There were so many things I wanted to say to her. I wanted to yell. I felt like breaking everything in my line of sight. But all I said was, 'Oh.'

…

I had invited her to stay in my room, while I took the couch. I couldn't sleep. I mulled over everything all night. I was completely heartbroken. I felt disgusted by her admission. But I was again happy that she had told me, instead of hiding it. I assumed it was only because she was drunk that it even happened. So at the break of dawn, I had decided to give her a chance. She was overjoyed but also extremely ashamed. It took a while for our relationship to bounce back to normal. But she gave me time. And I vowed to myself that since I had given her second chance, I would never bring up her error in future.

…

I continued watching Bella as she put the last spoonful of cake into her mouth and licked off the spoon. I couldn't help but smile at her evident joy.

'Mrs Adams, that was truly scrumptious' she said appreciatively. Mrs Adams thanked her and cleared our plates. I slowly got up and she followed suit.

'I need some fresh air' I said and headed towards the front door. Surprisingly, Bella followed.

'I ate a bit too much. I can't breathe.' She said rubbing her stomach delicately. I grinned because at that moment, I could breathe perfectly well because I was surrounded by her scent.

I opened the door and noted that it was raining. It looked beautiful. The glistening leaves and the wet road. This was obviously not unusual for Forks. But the beauty next to me groaned and showed her displeasure when she saw that it was raining.

'What happened?' I asked her curiously. I had never seen her so full of irritation. Her brows were knitted into a frown.

'I hate rain' she said simply and turned to go back inside. I realized that I loved her honesty and simplicity. She never said too much. She just spoke her mind. That was inexplicably beautiful to me. I watched her retreating back and felt my heart fill up.

At that moment Alice and Tanya came down from upstairs and the magic was broken. But I didn't mind. I had seen her and spoken to her. I chuckled as I remembered her expression when she had said 'I hate rain.'


	5. Chapter 5 Yours, Edward

**Chapter 5 Yours, Edward**

 **Yours, Edward**

The evening crawled by. And Bella and I barely spoke again. I suppressed my desire to go over to her and talk to her all night. She was sitting in the corner of the living room with Tanya and Alice. She probably did not even realize how she was driving me crazy. I longed to look into her eyes and speak my mind to her. However, my loyalty to Tanya held me back. Very slowly, it was time to leave. We said goodbye to everyone. I saved Bella for last. Tanya pulled me aside and kissed me deeply. I wanted to return her kiss but I couldn't bring myself to. She released me, and her cold manner was back. But at this point, I couldn't care less. I didn't want to hurt Tanya, but in my mind, I knew that I had sacrificed enough for her. I felt justified in my behavior.

'Hey…It was great meeting you again' Bella said coming up to me. Her cheeks were slightly pink. I wondered what that was about. Her rosy cheeks made my heart ache. She was so beautiful.

'The pleasure was mine.' I said trying to regain any semblance of calm from the depths of my mind. I wondered whether she knew I behaved like this only around her. I finally decided I was going to do something about my longing. I pulled out my wallet, and took my business card and handed it to her.

'Bella. You're practically new here. So…if ever you need anything at all, feel free to text or call. I'll be there to help.' I said trying to sound polite instead of obsessive and crazy.

Her eyes widened slightly but she took my card. She looked back into my eyes and for a moment there, my world froze. I felt like she could see into my soul. She broke away from my gaze and glanced at Tanya who was talking to my father. I didn't know if I was flattering myself, but I thought I could see a flash of sadness in her eyes. But it was so minute that I could have been mistaken.

'Well, in that case, we'll get going' I said and started out the door. My family followed. Mr Denali offered to drop Bella home. Just like that, my perfect evening came to an end.

…

'Dude…you're whipped! You've been zoning out all day' an annoying voice floated to me as I was sitting in my office. I looked up to see my colleague Mike holding a bunch of files in his hands. He looked seriously amused. I rolled my eyes at him. He usually excelled at making people uncomfortable. But this time, I felt warm at the thought of being whipped, since Bella was the sole cause. I smiled slightly as Mike left. He had no idea how true his words were. It was only two days after the dinner, but I was still replaying my favourite moments and consequently feeling warm and fuzzy all over. I subconsciously wondered whether these moments would cease to have the same effect after a few days. This thought bothered me a lot.

*ting*

My phone beeped. I wondered who was texting me at 3 pm in the afternoon. I didn't look at my phone assuming it was one of the many whatsapp groups I was in. My buddies from University were always sending rubbish in the group. I continued working for nearly two more hours. Once I was done with it, I called my secretary, Jessica, and gave her a few instructions. She was new and always ended up muddling up what I told her. I was trying my best not to lose my temper on her but I feared that that day would come very soon. I proceeded with some more work. I had a meeting to attend in ten minutes. I jotted down a few points I wanted to express and was mentally constructing my ideas when Mike's head popped in again.

'Eddie…let's go.' He said grinning wickedly. I grimaced. He knew I hated being called Eddie. But I stood up and followed him anyway. A boring and long drawn meeting was waiting for me.

…

I had just got into my car and shut the door when my phone started ringing. I fumbled with my phone a bit and then checked the caller ID. It was an unknown number. I attended the call after a moment's pause. It must be Mike. He enjoyed playing pranks on me. But I didn't want to take the risk of not attending the call, in case it happened to be a client.

'Hello?' a soft, feminine voice said from the other side. I stopped breathing for a moment. But it couldn't be…why would she call me? I tried to compose myself and framed a response in my head.

'Hello? This is Edward. May I know who's speaking?' I asked, though I very well knew who it was. How could I not? It was her voice that I kept playing in my head.

'It's Bella' she said. She sounded a little disappointed. But again, I felt I was overthinking things. Why should she be disappointed? It wasn't like she was my girlfriend or anything and I had failed to recognize her voice.

'Edward? Are you there?' she asked, and I realized I hadn't responded. I smacked myself mentally.

'Yeah. Sorry. I was just coming out from work. Tell me Bella. How are you?' I asked in what I thought was a cool and relaxed voice.

'I am fine. How about you?' she asked, her voice sounding more cool and distant than before. I was worried whether I had overdone my 'cool' voice. What if she was hurt? Waves of anxiety rolled off me.

'I am alright. So, how come you're calling?' I asked, more warmly.

'I need you advice. I texted you in the afternoon, but I didn't get a reply. So I thought I'd call. I hope it's not a problem' she added almost as an afterthought and I could envision her twirling a lock of hair as she thought over what she was confused about. The thought made my stomach do somersaults. She had texted me. I had ignored the beep, but it had been her.

'Yeah? Tell me. It's really not a problem.' I said, feeling frustrated that I hadn't responded immediately. She would have probably been hurt.

'It's actually Charlie's birthday this weekend. I wanted to get him something. I didn't know where to go. I also didn't know what to get.' She sounded hesitant. 'I called Jake, he is at a photoshoot the whole week. And Tanya has gone to Seattle for her job orientation' she clarified. I was her last choice. She called because no one else was available. My heart dropped. But I cheered myself up with the fact that she had called, even if I was the last resort.

'You want me to help you choose something for your father? Okay then. We can go to Port Angeles which is not very far from here. There are few places there that have nice things to buy.' I said. It had been a while since I had gone there, but I was sure there would be something that was gift-worthy.

'Well. Okay then. When do we go?' she asked softly.

'I don't know. How about today? I just got off work. I could swing by and pick you up.' I said cautiously. I didn't want to sound too enthusiastic.

'That'd be wonderful. I hope it's not an inconvenience.' She said once more. I didn't know how to respond. How did I tell her that she would never be an inconvenience?

'It really isn't. I would love to help.' I said quietly. I hoped she understood the meaning behind my words.

'Okay Edward. See you soon'

'Yeah. Okay' I said, and hung up.

...

'That was quick.' she noted as she got into my car. Her fragrance permeated through the air of my car and I breathed deeply. I shrugged in response to her question. I couldn't possibly tell her that I had driven recklessly fast in order to reach her house. She looked perfect and stylish, in a pair of dark blue jeans and a pretty white top. The white of her top somehow brought out the milky colour of her skin. She was carrying a jacket too. After she had put on her seat-belt. I started driving. I felt slightly conscious that I was driving an Audi A8. I didn't own it. My father had bought it for my birthday. She sat rather stiffly like she was afraid she would break something if she moved.

'Are you okay?' I asked turning to look at her.

'I don't want to damage your car' she said, tightening clasp on her elbows. I laughed. She was so cute. As if she could damage the car. She was so delicate, like a flower.

'You won't. You can relax. It's just a car.' I said, but she didn't move. Her posture was as rigid as it was before. I gave up. She could sit how she liked.

And then suddenly, she reached out and fiddled with the music system. I grinned. She went through different channels on the radio until she reached a particular song, 'You are the reason', by Calum Scott. I was surprised. I loved that song.

'I like this song a lot. Is it okay?' she asked looking at me earnestly.

'I love this song.' I responded. Interesting, she loved a song that I adored. I felt pleased. This was a good thing. The song played in the background.

'Edward?' she asked. Her musical voice breaking the silence.

'Yeah?' I asked.

She hesitated a moment, and then said 'What do you think I should get?' I sensed her evasion. She had come to say something else but had changed her mind. I didn't want to pressure her. So I let it go.

'Well…for starters, clothes? A tie or a shirt maybe?' She shook her head.

'Well..how about a book?' I asked.

'He doesn't read much.'

'How about we decide when we get there?' I asked. At least we would know what was available. She agreed.

In the time that it took to get there, we talked a little bit. Our topics were all very superficial. The weather, life at Forks, the people…I wanted to talk about important things. Like why she hated rain? Why she was unhappy in Forks? Was she with someone? What was her life in Phoenix like? But I couldn't ask anything because she was obviously holding herself back. Somehow I felt hurt by her behaviour.

…

'No…It doesn't feel very special.' She said, looking at the tie I had picked up. We had been to three stores and she had not liked anything there. I felt helpless because the products available were indeed limited. And I had absolutely no idea how Charlie actually was. We ended up walking up and down nearly all the stores that Port Angeles Avenue had to offer. I was almost at the point of suggesting giving up, when she pounced on a leather wallet. I raised an eyebrow in frustration. We had already seen countless wallets, but none had elicited such a response from her. However, she disregarded my quizzical looks, and started examining the wallet, murmuring to herself.

After a minute or two, she said 'I'm getting this.' She turned abruptly and walked over to pay for it. She joined me after the billing process was over. The wallet was now neatly wrapped in a shiny gold gift wrap, with a bow tied around it.

'Charlie uses this old, worn out wallet. And whenever I suggested to him that he change it, he would say he couldn't because they didn't stock that model anymore. And voilà! I found it.' She said looking quite pleased. No wonder she had bought it without too much hesitation.

'That's thoughtful.' I replied, not quite knowing what to say. She smiled at me. We reached the car and I pulled the key out of my pocket. I didn't want our little 'day out' to end. But it looked like it was about to, very soon.

'How about we grab some dinner?' she asked, as though reading my mind. I shrugged, as though it didn't really matter. But inside, my heart was doing cartwheels and backflips. It was practically a dinner date. I tried not to label our _sortie_ , but I couldn't help but compare it to a date. 'Do you know any good places to eat?'

'That depends. What do you feel like eating?' I asked her. The variety of restaurants on the Avenue was quite limited, but most of them were good.

'How about chinese?' she asked looking up at me. My expression darkened. I stopped eating chinese a long time ago. It was actually associated with my first negative experience with Tanya. We had gone to a chinese restaurant that day, before I found out about her intense flirting. The mere thought of it made me feel squeamish. But I wanted to bring myself out of the rut I had fallen in because of Tanya. Getting over my aversion to Chinese food would be a great way to start. I smiled at the thought, and nodded at Bella.

'There's a restaurant just around the corner. Ming's Wok.' I had been there once, with my family when I was very young. I vaguely remembered the place. It had been a Chinese themed restaurant, with the typical red décor. We walked towards it in silence. Somehow, the silence was not teeming with unsaid thoughts. It was just silence, and I observed the comfort that came with it. It seemed so natural.

The restaurant had not changed much over the years. It was exactly as I remembered it with maybe a few touch ups here and there. The air smelled of garlic and ginger. The place was nearly empty. A couple sat at one of the tables at the back. A waiter appeared out of nowhere and showed us to a table in another corner. He evidently thought we wanted some privacy. I didn't say anything and just followed him. Once we were seated, we gave our orders and then tried to make small talk.

'You've been here before?' she asked. I nodded. 'Back when I was eleven or twelve years old. It hadn't changed at all.' I replied. And then I recalled the memory aloud. She listened with rapt attention. I tried to narrate as well as I could, leaving out the part where that day, I had found out that my dad was dating a new lady, who had a doll for a daughter. I had been very jealous, that the doll faced girl would steal my father away from me and I had refused to speak to him for nearly a week. It had taken a lot of effort on mom's part to bring me around.

After nearly twenty minutes, our food arrived. We dug in. With the food, the air around us became less guarded. I felt a wave of ease wash over me. I savoured the Chinese fried noodle and fried wontons.

'This is really good.' She said, biting off a bit of her dumpling.

'Yeah. The food is delicious.' I agreed.

'So…Edward, when did you and Tanya start dating?' she asked suddenly. I froze. I hadn't expected her to be so direct. I contemplated her question and then answered.

'When I was 18, she was 17 at the time. We were in our final year at school.'

'Oh.' She said that one word and let my curiosity cloud my brain. It just hung there.

'Why do you ask?' I prompted. I needed an explanation for her unexpected curiosity towards my love life. She glanced at me with an unreadable expression and then looked away. It seemed like she was fighting an internal battle. Was there something she wanted to tell me? I raised my eyebrow at her, showing her that I was still waiting for an answer. She seemed nervous and confused.

'Well…I was just wondering. I just found out some stuff a few days back which made me wonder.' She replied quietly. I was now even more confused. What had she found out? My heart pumped dramatically, as though to show me the gravity of the situation. I grimaced.

'Care to explain?' I asked. I was feeling slightly irritated. If she hadn't wanted to elaborate, she shouldn't have said anything at all in the first place. But this was altogether too much for me to bear. So I wanted an answer. I laid my fork aside and stared at her face.

She blushed under my gaze, and the pink of her cheeks made my irritation slowly ebb away, but I maintained my gaze on her. I was not going to leave without figuring out what she had to say. I had a slight feeling that what she would say would not be great to hear, but little did I expect that it would completely destroy me. After a few more moments passed, she lay aside her fork and stared into my eyes.

'Listen, Edward, I don't know you very well. And we have met just recently. So I didn't know whether it was my place to tell you this. But you're a great guy. And the more I thought about it, the more I felt you deserved to know. What I tell you today may not be a surprise to you. Maybe you already know. But I felt like I have to do it. To clear my conscience. I can't lose more sleep over this secret, she said hurriedly. I blinked in confusion. Was it really something that serious? I thought over her words once more and out of nowhere, a cold feeling set in. I had an idea where this was going. I felt myself pale. I didn't want to find out like this. I couldn't. But I wanted to finish what I had asked for. It had already come this far anyway. 'Okay? What is it?' I asked, my voice sounded weird.

'Tanya…your girlfriend…she has been going around with someone…a guy from her university I believe. She was talking on the phone to someone and I accidentally overheard. She's actually gone to Seattle to be with him. Her work assignment has already been done. As far as I know, she called the guy…Robert or Roger or something. She was checking some holiday home reservations were done. She said…she said you had no idea and that she wouldn't let you find out for the time being.'

I listened and when she finished, I leaned back on my chair. I'd been a fool. I pinched the bridge of my nose to calm the tumultuous emotions that were coursing through me. I had trusted her. I had hoped for a future. I had made sacrifices for her that no one else would have. I felt completely and utterly betrayed. I also felt embarrassed that I was being vulnerable in front of Bella. She was observing me with an expression that reflected concern and sadness. I placed a clenched fist on the table and sat still. I didn't want to react crudely nor did I want to express my feelings. I wasn't composed enough for that.

'Can we leave?' I asked her after a while. She nodded. I paid the bill and we left. I drove back in complete autopilot.

I had given her chances, again and again. I had excused her flirting and her desperation for attention. I gritted my teeth. Thinking of her was painful. A phone rang, breaking the silence in the car. It was mine. And no surprise there, it was Tanya. My stomach tightened uncomfortably. And my lungs squeezed painfully. I pulled over to the side and let my head fall into my hands. The phone continued to ring. Bella didn't move. I struggled to gain composure, but before I could, the tears spilt over. I let them. My tears flowed down the gaps between my fingers and fell on the steering wheel and my pants. It was just the anger and the frustration. I knew that.

I heard a sound of a seatbelt being unclicked. And Bella leaned over and wrapped her arms around me. I found it comforting. I relaxed in her embrace and like magic, I regained the composure I had lost earlier. Bella's smell hung around me and I felt my head clear. I wanted to say so many things to her, but I was at a loss for words. The feeling of embarrassment I felt was even stronger. I had cried in front of her. I wanted to melt into nothingness right there or get a do over. I cleared my throat and slowly straightened up. Bella loosened her arms and finally leaned back into her seat. Her seat belt clicked back into place. I started the car and we drove back, toward Forks. Bella didn't say anything, nor did she try to console me with empty sentences. She looked out the window, with her hands clutching the gift wrapped wallet for Charlie.

…

'Thanks Edward.' She said in a small voice as she got out of my car.

'It was no problem' I assured her. She stood watching as I reversed the car and then drove away. I kept sneaking glances at her in the rear-view mirror until she became one with the darkness. I voice commanded my phone to call Mike. He picked up on the third ring.

'Mike? Are you home?' I asked.

'Yeah man. What's up?' he asked.

'Can I stay at your place tonight?' I asked. If he was surprised, he didn't show it.

'Sure. Come on over. I've ordered pizza.' He said and then hung up. Mike and I were friends after all. Mike was always understanding and I knew he'd leave me to my thoughts. I breathed in relief. I didn't want to face my family tonight. It would be too much. I called mom next, and it went to voicemail. They were probably having dinner. I left a message.

'Mom? Hey…It's Edward. I just got off work and I am going to stay at Mike's tonight. We have a project to work on. It was a very last minute thing. I'm sorry. I love you. See you tomorrow.' After all, work related projects were very common. With this, I headed to Mike's place.

…

I rolled over on the bed in the guest room in Mike's house. He had offered me some pizza which I declined. He didn't ask any questions which was good for me. I thanked him and he showed me the guest room. I hadn't been able to sleep, despite feeling mentally and physically exhausted. My head hurt. I felt I had to say something to Bella. I felt like I had treated her unfairly.

Taking my phone from the nightstand, I typed her a message.

 _Thank you for saving me._

 _Yours, Edward._

I stared at my words for a moment, and then sent it. After sending it, I felt that maybe she would find it cheesy and awkward. But I had already sent it. There was nothing much I could do. My phone beeped. One new message was received. I tapped on the notification to open it.

 _Anytime. – 3B_

I felt my heart warm up. I stared at the heart she had sent. I looked at her message for a while. Her words had the power to make me forget my biggest pains. My heart felt considerably lighter, and I fell asleep. A deep, comfortable and dreamless sleep.

 **Author's note:**

 **I hope everyone liked this chapter. I have decided to let the story flow according to what feels right by me. I don't have a fixed storyline. But I personally like the way it's going.**

 **Poor Edward though. Right?**

 **Please leave me your reviews and any suggestions. Thank you.**


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